| Some Music Worth Hearing |
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| Recommended Dramas : |
1)Hana Yori Dango
2) Nobuta wo Produce
3) Kurosagi
4) Gokusen 2
5)Honey and Clover the movie (a must-watch)
6)Sapuri
7)Ace wo Nerae
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| SoMe LiNkS I gO tO wHeN i'M bOrEd |
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| bleahz |
| Wednesday, April 27, 2005 |
hmmm,was looking @ a fren's blog n she did dis survey. Since I feel rather spatz 2dae (got a C+ 4 my terrestrial paper...sigh altho some of de disappointment was compensated by my drugs paper which I got B+..Yeah!somewhat), I decided 2 do it...well here's de results
Take the quiz at dicepool.com
No use trying to fight it, you're an eight-sided die, a d8. A fine example of simple elegance, the d8 is one of the least appreciated types of dice, and is often neglected. You are known to be quiet and shy, outward traits that conceal viscous sarcasm and mean wit. You are very smart, yet wise enough to hide your intelligence the quicker they found out how smart you are, the sooner they'll put you to work, which is something you can do without. People call you dark and pessimistic, or moody and cynical. You find little point in arguing. hmmzz...oh well, back 2 my music therapy..now listening 2 "Dangdut Is The Music Of My Country" by Project Pop..makes me really wan 2 study Indonesian Lang...hmmm...I wonder if I can do it @ NUS?
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@ 8:12 pm  |
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| PHILO...SIGH... |
| Monday, April 25, 2005 |
Gdness, I dunno wat 2 say abt philo, half of me feels relieved tt my worst paper is over while another part of me feels so sianz abt it. I dunno, I haf always had a bad feeling abt philo b4 de paper, I was saying 2 my frens how nervous I felt. Many were juz saying 2 me tt it's okie n dun need 2 b so nervous abt thgs. Well, sorry 2 say gals but those words dun help @ all. It turns out de bad feeling I had, it was a true sign coz I had trouble doing de paper. It's not like I dun understand de paper but I feel tt it's freeaking hard 2 do under exam conditions. I feel like wan 2 go bury myself in de sand like some ostrich. Betul2 rase mcm nak nangis @ tt pt of time. I'm not disappointed lah but stillm feel like crap. Well, since cannot haf chocolate therapy coz I already did tt 4 anthro, I've decided 2 immerse myself in all de lagu-lagu jiwang..N I tell u it really works especially songs by EXISTS n SHEILA ON 7. Really, now I noe y they r my fav bands, really help 2 kick all their blues away wif their lagu jiwang n lagu rock. Sorry gals, if u dun understand de malay words tt I've written..any prob juz ask me..I juz feel tt it's easier 4 me 2 say it in malay.
Okie, now I'm gg 2 say thgs in malay...so if u dun understand ask me, feel free 2 ask ya...Now rase mcm nak pegi hols aje. Betul nye penat belajar, lagi 3 exam, lagi 2 minggu. hehe I cuma dapat survive by juz counting de days twds field studies mod. yeah!betul nye tak sabar nak lari fr all these gile-gile situation.sekarang feel mcm nak nangis...bukannye ape, tgh dengar my mum cakap pasal my arwah dad, suddenly feel emotional, teringat pulak yg de day I will balik fr field studies is de 1st death anniversary. sedih pu ade, sayu pun ade...I really do miss him. Still ingat de 2 mths b4 dia meninggal, all those times rushing 2 de hospital juz 2 c him b4 he breathes his last breath. ingat lagi bangun 2am juz 2 rush 2 de hospital 2 @ least attempt 2 tgk dia b4 dioa leave us. Tak sangke I guess yg such a thg can happen, I mean sometimes u tgk such thgs in dramas n movies, tak sangka pulak such thg can happen 2 u.but I feel blessed tt @ least I blh jage n cakap ngan arwah ayah cukup2, altho I feel I rather haf him here still wif us than tt 2 mths. Rasenye, tt 2 mths was de time I betul2 nangis like @ least once everyday. Tak pernah I nangis like tt...I noe lah ppl say I ni cengeng tapi I rase n I hope ppl willneva c me de way I was during tt period. I dunno mayb I tak percaye org ke, atau I juz feel defensive..after all ini my family affair. Tapi I really muz thk Shazie 4 juz listening 2 me tt nite bile I dapat tahu yg my arwah ayah may not live long.Really keeping a secret 4 him 4 de following 2 wks abt conditions dia memang betul mencabar, everytime tgk dia n cakap nagn dia betul2 nak juz nangis aje. Sigh, betul2 de most bad experience ever, but I do learn 2 b independant n really 2 balance my pvte n public life..oh well, I rase mcm dah luahkan semua yg terpendam, all coz terdengar ape ibu cakap…I guess writing is a gd therapy, dapat tenangkan hatiku yg bergolak…ntahlah ape yg aku cakap tapi rasenye u get de pt..
Oh well, now back 2 studying 4 drugs n American film papers..can’t wait 4 de gathering on sat though..need tt break b4 I study 4 my last paper…n den I’m free…hehe..but hopefully after I get back fr Thailand, can get a job..oh well..tt’s another thg 2 worry..
 This is me feeling traumatised n tired n cannot wait 4 de exams 2 end. Take care everyone n all de best ya..
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| @ 8:13 pm |
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| comments |
| Saturday, April 23, 2005 |
| hehe, I juz changed de bkgrd successfully (yea!!!) but haf a new prob where de comments area dun work...hmmm will work on tt after de exams..hehe...slow progress brings success yea? I dunno wat I'm talking abt but ya will work on it... |
| @ 9:29 pm |
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| Thursday, April 21, 2005 |
On a journey to fight the war of exams..wish me luck people! I do wish u all too all de best n take care.  |
| @ 8:32 pm |
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| bleahz.... |
| Saturday, April 16, 2005 |
Anyone knows how 2 change de background of a blog...need help here...tried 2 do it but got wierd results...sometimes de pics dun come out sometimes de alignmt goes haywire...hmm...is it juz me or wat?
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| @ 9:37 pm |
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| Thursday, April 14, 2005 |
What I need rite now is laughter n not be laughed @..hehe...altho tt doesn't happen |
| @ 10:34 pm |
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| it's been a while... |
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hey hey hey,
it's been a while since I last wrote..n some things haf happened...both gd but mostly bad...but dis week haf been really hectic..since I'm like running n racing agst time 2 finish up my essay...now it's done n currently I'm racing agst time 2 complete my studying esp when most of my exams take place like 2 wks fr now...haf 3 exams in a wk...sigh.. I wonder  or 
anyway, yest I haf outdone myself in the dept of public embarrassment. u see I was sppsd 2 meet a fren @ de NUS Student Lounge @ yih...I dun noe wat happened 2 me tt morning but I was really in a very very ditzy mood. So, back 2 de story. So, @ de door, I was so anxious 2 go in. I tried pulling de door but it won't budge. I pulled again dis time the other door,tt 2 din budge. 4 both times, I was practically pulling de thg wif all my might, thinking I was 2 weak 2 pull a door.I gave up n stood aside 2 figure out wat happened..apparently there was dis guy beside me, n he was being mean.U see, he had I think saw wat I was doing. He had dis snicker, mean smile as he slowly...n I mean SLOWLY pulled out his matric card n put it in de card reader,n SLOWLY pulled de door n went in. Boy,  was I embarrased @ de stupidity I haf juz displayed..I mean how can I forget,I've been 2 de place b4 n dis didn't happened...how many ppl cld haf seen dis stupid behaviour of mine...luckily de computers in de lounge were not facing de door n tt de lounge was not tt full wif ppl...anyway, I quickly went in...kept myself away fr de ppl sitting @ de couches n did my stuff ...luckily de guy is not cute @ all..if not..I dun noe how I'm gg 2 feel...
yes, n tt was de major highlight of my bad news dept. 4 de gd news dept...wat do we haf....hmmm,not much I guess. Except tt I'm finally getting de amt of sleep I wan altho' tt may change since I'm starting my revision n readings.. Oh yes, I did get my first n hopefully not de only A 4 my term papers dis sem. Was v happy..really made my day coz finally I noe tt I'm not a loser n anthro...(u see I got a C+ 4 another essay, de tutor was biased n he said tt my essay was abstract, like wat kind of reasoning is tt?juz coz u din understand wat I was writing altho I gave most of de facts n de way I write was simple enuf, n u gave another person A juz coz hers was simple n u can understand altho she din cover all de thgs needed..even she said u r biased)...now I haf like 2 other tutotrs 2 make me feel assured tt I dun suck @ anthro coz I haf B n A 4 de other 2 essays I haf 2 do...hopefully de final grade is ard tt range 2..hehe
Hmmm,so sad....I'm being v down dis wk...really can't wait 4 de exams 2 b over..coz after tt there's de class chalet, den there's de crash course on thai lang, n de highlght of my hols is de thailand field studies...really can't wait coz during de trip I can get 2 c Earl 2...n it's been a long time since I've seen her...which was like 4-5 yrs ago,since de exchange prog in sec sch...but we haf both been keeping in contact wif each other n really dist. does make us feel de increasing desire 2 wan 2 meet each other again. she had wanted n been planning 2 come 2 s'pore wif her frens on vacation..but u noe tt sort of thg needs a lot of planning. also, she's still rather yg,18,so much care n planning n convince parents 2 be able 2 travel wifout them...
anyway,haf 2 go off now. mayb will write during de exam period mayb after tt...but wateva it is...I'll not b writing regularly..tee hee..anyways, wish me luck..I reaaallllyyy NEED LUCK 4 de exams dis time ard ...nitez all n take care ya...
 This is de HOPEFUL cat asking ppl 2 pray 4 me n wish me luck 4 de exams..take care n will write again sooon!tata
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| @ 9:23 pm |
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| Sunday, April 10, 2005 |
me on de right... does me n my sis look tt alike?hmmm... |
| @ 11:35 pm |
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| flu n ice cream dun go 2gether |
| Saturday, April 09, 2005 |
Seriously, its gd 2 be able 2 feel n taste properly....u see, I have been in bed 4 de past 3 daes  ...it's nothing serious really n it's not like I'm in bed all de time.Anyway, have been having the flu 4 de past 3 days...getting better now...ppl kept asking me y I din juz go 2 de doc n get my antibiotics...well I guess I juz din wan my body 2 get immuned 2 de medication...anyway after learning abt drugs in dis module I took dis sem...I think tt it's better 2 avoid popping pills if u feel tt your body can take care of it.
Anyway, I guess I can't complain much since getting tt bout of flu was partly my fault. Well,apparently I ate ice cream while having the early bout of flu...since then it got worse as expected. But u can't blame me tt much..in factone has 2 give me credit 4 attempting to resist de temptation 4 a whole week..anyway how can one resist cheesecake ice cream...really can u? Anyway, it's ironic tt on de ice cream tub, they said "temptations"...I mean, sometimes I feel tt they put such words as a form of sarcasm on ppl who aren't sppsd 2 b eating de ice cream...
Anyway, now watching the prayer of pennitence of Prince Charles n Camilla P. Bowles...somehow, I disapprove of their marriage...I mean I'm not for ppl who haf committed adultery...I mean seriously I think tt both of them haf committed enough sins n shame already...n now this...if u notice, both of them appear in public more boldly as soon as Princess Diana died...how shamefu; can tt get...it's also funny how Prince Charles in the end chose an older not 2 mention less pretty one to the younger n much prettier n much more porductive Princess Di.One can say tt its an example of true love...me, I don't think so. Okie,mayb I'm biased against this man called Prince Charles. If u watch de whole ceremony, u do realise tt de ceremony n mood is solemn n alomst forced. I mean, de crowd outside was not as joyous as other types of ceremonies. Also, the blessing n prayer of pennitence ceremony is like so fake...I mean I feel tt de whole ceremony is juz a show tt everythg will b allright n everythg is fine. To me, I feel tt ppl will always remember Camilla as de mistress who got her man in de end n Charles as de man who lost everythg including de respect of most of his subjects. I think even de title tt she may hold does haf an inkling of how much the royal family thinks of her..
Anyway, enough of the royal family affairs...now I need 2 get on with my essays, still haf one more 2 go n hopefully I'll finish it soon. Next week is already exam week n I haven't studied...life is getting depressing n really can't wait 4 de hols...yupz will write soon.
 This is me, the sickly green apple off 2 recuperate.Take care everyone,dun b like me!
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| @ 8:57 pm |
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| rain,deadlines,exams....all 3 bring depression much closer 2 me |
| Wednesday, April 06, 2005 |
 yak yak yak...tt's wat other ppl haf been doing while I'm as dead as the stone can be...I noe..very bad phrase...but wateva...I'm not feeling tt gd these few days..moreover, the rain is like wearing me down. Seriously, the rain somehow is a reflection of the miserable mood everybody is in rite now.Wherever u go, u see ppl in very neat n smart clothing but look@ their faces n u see zombies or ghosts (wateva u wan 2 call them) walking around. It's almost scary how serious or dead they look sometimes...but then I cannot complain so much since I'm also one of them. I'm like so burnt-out rite now...n I haf not yet studied...n exams starts like in 2 wks time...n de 1st paper is ANTHROPOLOGY..... 
okie...okie....I shld stop scaring myself n b more realistic n optimistic...haha...i guess de flu is making me paranoid abt thgs...making me feel like it's de end of de world juz coz i haf deadline nex wk n exams starting de wk after tt...
well wanted 2 blog yest but de server was down.Yest was fine except tt I was being a ditz... it was one of those days where I'm thankful tt I'm ill....thg is I was so ditzy, I forgot tt lecture 4 my drugs n society module has ended 4 gd...so I happily informed my fren tt I'll not b coming...hmm, if not 4 being ill, I think tt I would haf been such a hero/heroine n b de only "enthusiastic" student waiting in de empty lt 4 de goats 2 come in. Anyway, Tuesday was a really spatz day...muz haf been so tired n sick tt I slept THE WHOLE DAY...can imagine sleeping the whole day only waking up 4 a while 2 eat lunch...n de thg is I can still sleep rather soundly @ nite...
anyways, while tue was a spatz day, I think wed is de worst boring day ever. Neva haf I felt so suffocated wif boredom b4 until 2dae.Basically 2dae was all abt readings,readings n more readings...no matter how I tried 2 move ard once in a while...I still felt so suffocated n almost went crazy.Moreover, nobody's free 2dae @ all..so nobody 2 talk 2...so when it was finally time 4 lecture I was like gg THANK YOU...it's almost like being freed from a cage after eons of being confined...okay okay....I noe ppl may say tt I'm exagerating it so much...but tt's how I feel...n I hope tt's de last time I wan 2 feel tt way...n it seems tt American Film lecture was like de best reward 4 me after tt long suffering...also de fact tt tml n fri are like my free days( dis is de 1st wk where I haf like 3 days completely free...pure reward!...how cool is tt!)...so it's like triple reward 4 me...I noe I noe...I promise I'll use it v wisely...I'll do n finish my essays during dis long hols I haf 2 finish de 2 essays asap so tt I can get started studying soon...
oh well, on tt note I guess I shld juz shut up now n do my research..well tlk again soon...I noe tt 2dae most likely my post seems very incoherent n out of place..but wat 2 do...dis is written by a person down wif flu...so give me some credit okie...it's gd ebuf tt I'm still able 2 remember thgs @ dis pt...okie...I'll stop yakking now n say tata...nitez...
 This is the sick n hibernating polar bear saying take care of urself n dun be like me...sick n down wif flu...will write again soon...
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| @ 9:20 pm |
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| me and philosophy |
| Sunday, April 03, 2005 |
Finally, I finished my philo paper!  I dun noe why but I seem to haf this love-hate relationship wif philosophy ever since I took a class on it.Much as I find the issues discussed in the module very interesting and amazingly noteworthy, I feel that I still hate doing it and discussing abt it. I noe ppl say that discussing the issue makes a person more interested in it n all. But I feel very constricted n almost as if my opinions abt the issue don't matter @ all. I think mayb wat I feel is subjective n that mayb I'm being paranoid n all. I think that mayb a combination of bad tutoring n opposite opinions did it, causing me to haf this wierd relationship.
Not that I do not like my tutor. I think he's okie, it's juz that he can be aggressive @ times n the approach he takes towards teaching the topic @ hand can be a little aggressive. I dun noe, mayb I am paranoid or something but I guess that 's how I feel. I'm not trying to bring my tutor down or something. I do respect him n his opinions. It's juz that whenever I gave him my opinion or answer, he usually give me tt LOOK...the look that says 'u r so way off the track'. I mean if only he juz did not give me that LOOK, I would haf enjoyed n respect his decision to 'down' me.
All n all, I'm still tired n sick of philosophy. Neva mind if in the end I will remember n use n enjoy some of the topics discussed, I think tt this module teaches me a very important lesson. Neva am I not going to pick modules @ the last minute juz to compensate for the modules I cannot haf. Next time I'm so gg to haf many backup modules juz in case I cannot bid 4 de main ones.
Anyways, I haf to go off now...having a freaking headache...dunno why but mayb it's due to the food that I haf eaten..neva mind abt tt...mayb I'll write tml or tue...cya then ya...ciao!
 This is me, the fat cow signing out. Wish me luck on remedying my headache
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| @ 9:37 pm |
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| there's a first time for everything |
| Friday, April 01, 2005 |
I've been resisting the idea of blogging since like eons ago.For me, blogging is like keeping a diary (which is actually true) and trust me, I have tried to keep a diary like for so long and have tried to keep so many different types of diaries. I have a few books of my supposedly diaries as evidence of my failed attempts. Most of the time, about 10 pages of the diary is filled with all my "heartfelt emotions". After that, you begin to see that I would start lagging behind and the new entries can like come after a month or two of being MIA. Of course, there will be so much to talk about after a month or two but tell me the truth, would you even attempt to remember back and write every detail? I'm sure you'll end up giving a brief summary of what has happened,hence killing all the emotions there is to the event.
So I'll promise that this time it will be different. Hopefully, I'll still be writing this blog after a year or two. Haha, let's see if I can break my personal record. Currently, the longest time that I'm able to keep a diary was 1 year and I think that it doesn't really count coz the diary entries was rather sparse, about an entry every 1 month or so on average. Actually, I think the underlying reason why I'm attempting to write this blog is bcoz soon I'll be going on this fieldwork studies module. It's an overseas module where we'll b based in Thailand. Idealistic as it may sound but I was hoping that I'll be able to use the blog as my own way of keeping notes of the activities I do there. Call me lazy but I think that it's my backup just in case my notes go missing (which does not happen often but prevention is better than cure right?).
That's another habit of me I guess. Sometimes, I feel that I'm too careful with what I do and with life, so much so that I'm afraid of plunging into something and taking chances. Maybe that's why I want to take this module. I want to change that careful, freaky nature of mine. I want to let loose a little and have fun. Who knows it may bring me more good stuff in return (sigh...). If you notice, my blog seems quite neat eh...haha, well I'm trying to make the first blog post look formal (although it's not) and nice. But I can assure afetr this post, there will be more of short forms and mostly fragmented sentences. But who cares, it's MY BLOG and nobody is going to do anything about it.
I think i should stop blogging here and start working on the philosophy blog I'm supposed to post up. Don't get me started on philosophy, maybe I'll talk all about it tomorrow. Oh yes, whenever I said tomorrow, it can means like days or months later. So don't wait for me ya! Anyways, off I go embarking on the night journey to the world of philosophy and hopefully I can survive the ride...wish me luck,LOTS of it...ciao
 This is me, the lazy cat signing out. Take care!
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| @ 2:26 pm |
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| About Me |
WhO aM I?I dUnNo.Tt'S WaT lIfE iS aLl AbT...lEaRnIng N dIsCoVeRiNg WhO U r.ThE rD I cHoOsE ShApEs WhO i Am.SoMe MaY Be WrOnG,SoMe RiTe..BuT hEy No OnE's PeRfEcT
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